


Distress Managed

by zarabithia



Category: Avengers (Comic), DCU - Comicverse, Marvel 616, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Superman (Comics), Superman Returns (2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Community: heroines_fest, Community: mundane_bingo, F/M, Fix-It, Multi, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-19
Updated: 2010-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do I look like that much of a damsel in distress to you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distress Managed

**Author's Note:**

> About continuity: I have used both DC and Marvel continuities. The fic takes sharp left turn in the DCU timeline immediately after the "Up, Up and Away" storyline and incorporates the Superman Returns storyline.

No one from Metropolis would have been driving down this particular street in the city above 25 miles per hour, Lois was certain. Apparently, roads worked a little differently in New York, because the small rental car that Lois' latest interview subject was driving was pushing far beyond a comfortable speed limit - for other passengers on the road, at least.

Lois was fine. _Absolutely_ fine. The only difficulty she was having was in reading the stupid map. Which she wouldn't have needed, if certain editors at the Daily Planet would remember that she was an investigative reporter, and didn't do theater. The arts district was so much more Cat's scene than Lois'.

Of course, if crazy models would just agree to taking a cab like a normal person and not insist on "sight-seeing" in a rented sports car that said model may or may not even have been able to afford yet, Lois wouldn't have to deal with a face full of map, either.

But no one ever claimed models as pretty as Mary Jane Watson-Parker were _smart_.

"If you could slow down, _Ms. Watson_ , I could probably read the map a little better."

"If I slow down, _Ms. Lane_ , the creeps following us in the van two cars back are going to catch up with us."

"We're being followed?"

"You didn't notice? I thought you were supposed to be an investigative reporter! With such sleuthing skills that interviewing a _mere_ model was beneath you. How did you not notice us being tailed?"

"A better question might be why doesn't the model have a bodyguard?"

"We can't _all_ have Superman on our speed dial, Ms. Lane. Speaking of, maybe you should give him a shout."

This was not the way Lois imagined her interview with a supermodel going. Not at all. She'd imagined a nice, calm, relaxing interview which should have been over in plenty of time to have lunch with Clark.

"I'm not yelling for Superman. Do I look like that much of a damsel in distress to you?"

"Isn't that how you get the stories?"

"What?"

"You get put in danger, he saves you, you get a sound bite?"

" _No._ " Lois made the mistake of trying to fold the stupid map, and it slipped out of her hand, and out of the car.

"Really? Because that's what I would have guessed, based on your interviews."

"Color me impressed a model can even read."

"It helps with the auditions."

It was a nice retort, really, except for the fact that their little red sports car wasn't handling the turn so well and was now heading straight towards the water. "Breaks, Mary Jane, breaks!"

"No go, Lane. Better start screaming. Louder, I mean!"

"I am not screaming for Superman!"

Lois would not admit later that she absolutely did close her eyes for the split second between her declaration and the time that it should have taken for their tiny car to hit the water.

When she realized that not only were they not in the water, their car was floating, Superman was smiling at her, and Mary Jane Watson was laughing, most likely at her.

"That was a great scream, Lane, really," Mary Jane told her, as she reached over Lois' lap and accepted the folded map from Superman.

~~~~~~~~~~~

All things considered, Lois did not consider her initial interview with Mary Jane Watson to be a pleasant experience. Sure, the article made Cat jealous - and most of the men in the newsroom, all of whom went significantly higher up the scale of pigs in Lois' opinion - and sure, Perry loved the fact that the Daily Planet was able to get a scoop on the thugs chasing down a model and his star reporter.

But Clark's interest in the model - "I'm sure you're just not giving her a fair shake" - seemed rather suspicious to Lois.

And she was perfectly capable of finding trouble herself. She didn't need a troublesome redheaded accomplice whom Clark seemed to think had "was stronger than you give her credit for being."

If Lois wanted that, she could have called up Lana Lang and invited her over for sleepovers.

Lois stood glaring out at the stadium at large, contemplating the sheer vomit-inducing idea of braiding Lana Lang's hair, when the other redheaded nemesis in her life finally noticed her presence.

"Well, if it isn't Lois Lane. Are you here as a fan or as an annoying reporter-type?"

Lois gritted her teeth. "Fan. You here scooping out the next husband?"

"Sorry to ruin your scoop, but I'm still happily married."

"So happily you're here by yourself?"

"Look who's talking."

Well, that was hardly fair. Clark had...things. Very important things. Things Lois certainly wasn't going to be sharing with a _model._

Instead, she gritted her teeth and took her seat, which just so happened to be two seats away from Mary Jane. Two empty seats, Lois noted, which should have been filled with Clark Kent and Peter Parker's bodies. So, Parker, like Clark, was a last minute ditcher.

Lois noted sourly during the course of the game - during which Mary Jane's favorite team captured and held an early lead - that for a woman who was ditched at the last minute, Mary Jane seemed to be handling it much better than Lois would have expected.

Lois was absolutely thinking there was a divorce on the horizon. It was the best, most sensible explanation, and as an investigative reporter, Lois _always_ looked for the most sensible explanation.

But then, halfway through the second quarter, Doc Ock interrupted the game. Spider-Man, of course, caught both Mary Jane and Lois in the midst of their backwards catapult to the nosebleed section.

There were several bad conclusions Lois could have arrived at, due to the events of that day, and the tender way Spider-Man glanced over his shoulder at them, or the fierceness with which Mary Jane clung to his neck. There had been a time, not so long ago, that Lois would have leapt to the "Spider-Man has affair with hot model" story.

But it was hard not to see past the curtain on a continual basis once the wizard's charade had been revealed. Clark was, of course, a much more impressive wizard than Spider-Man - even if his glasses were a much more flimsy curtain than Spider-Man's mask.

She did, however, leave that tiny revelation out of her article entirely.

~~~

The next time Lois heard Mary Jane's voice, it was over the phone, as Lois frowned at the computer screen and wondered if there was one "p" in therapist or two.

"Nice piece on the Doc Ock incident."

"Thanks. Perry thinks it might be worthy of consideration for the Pulitzer."

"Don't you already have one?"

"And are you content with modeling underwear for Sears' catalog now that you've already had a cover or two? A reporter's only as good as her last story, Mary Jane."

"Yeah, and your last story was one of the few ...sympathetic pieces to Spider-Man."

"Not _everyone_ involved in journalism is the hack that Jameson is."

"I know. My husband's used to be a photographer."

If there was a bit of a wistfulness there, Lois pretended not to notice it. It probably matched the wistfulness that crept into her voice when she scolded the damn cat for jumping onto Clark's empty seat at the dinner table. "Ah, and you married him anyway? Well, there's no accounting for a model's IQ, I guess."

"Of course not. By the way, Spider-Man has a hyphen in the middle. Keep that in mind for the next article, Miss Pulitzer."

"If a non-hyphenated headline is good enough for Batman, it's good enough for your city's jumping bug."

"And it's an arachnid, not a bug."

Lois' retort went unsaid, because yelling at the dial tone wouldn't have done much good.

She took it out on Clark's smirking self, instead. "You look mighty satisfied with yourself, Smallville."

"I'm just happy the two of you are getting along so well," Clark answered.

"An accurate and fair portrayal of Spider-Man should not be mistaken for a marriage proposal to Mary Jane Watson," Lois retorted.

"That's good. I don't like to share." And really, Clark deserved a better argument than that, but it was hard to argue when her husband moved so fast and had hands that large and that warm to wrap around her.

~~

While Clark's approval was always a nice thing to have, Lois didn't _need_ it.

Which was why she was perfectly fine with having his disapproval when she looked into the background of Mary Jane Watson-Parker. His rather overbearing, unnecessarily overstated disapproval, she might add.

"I just don't understand why you won't let it go, Lois." She didn't have to look up from the papers and photos on strewn across the table to know that Clark was using his heat vision to make his hot chocolate. The little pause between the opening of the cabinet door and the equally quiet stir of the spoon, without any stops at the microwave along the way, clued her in.

She preferred hers microwaved, but she never told Clark that, and when he brought her a cup, she took it absently. But he stood next to her, wanting an answer to the question she'd planned on ignoring.

Well, wasn't that why she married him? Hadn't she wanted an equal, someone to push back with equal force against her infamous Lane stubbornness?

"Because I'm an investigative reporter, Clark. It's part of who I am."

"But you won't report this."

"Of course not."

"Then why does it matter?"

She squeezed her cup in agitation, her nails making a soft chipping noise against the ceramic that caused Clark's eyebrow to raise, just a fraction, only enough for his wife to notice. "Because I know why I do this. I know why Iris West did it. I know why Sue Richards did it. I know why Jean Loring, Linda Park and Sue Dibny did it. But I have no idea why a model and sometimes actress would choose this life."

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"Because those of us that guard secrets don't generally have a habit of spilling our guts to reporters."

"Maybe you should stop thinking of yourselves as the reporter and the model and focus on what you have in common."

"Clark, I couldn't stop being a reporter anymore than you could stop being Superman. You ought to know that by now."

He had the grace to look momentarily ashamed, and Lois took that as her cue to turn her attention back to her investigation.

Giving up his looming, Clark sighed and offered, "I hope you find what you're looking for, Lois."

It took her another twenty minutes and a police report of a man who looked far too gruff to _actually_ be related to Mary Jane, but Lois eventually did find what she was looking for. She read the report twice, gathered the papers into a neat pile, and closed the folder she'd been keeping them in.

Apparently, in the Parker marriage, Mary Jane kept a far more impressive mask than her husband.

~~

The next time Lois heard Mary Jane's voice, it sounded more tense than before, though given the situation, Lois hardly blamed the woman.

"I thought these parties were strictly for the Avengers and the JLA? Why are we here?" Mary Jane asked her husband, who insisted on wearing his mask for reasons that Lois could not begin to imagine. It was curled up only around the mouth, which was half-stuffed with holiday cake, so Lois answered for him.

"They did, but they've grown. It's still mostly JLA and Avengers, but sometimes the Fantastic Four, Titans and JSA show up, too. And Wolverine, who likes to crash everyone's parties," Lois informed Mary Jane, announcing both her presence and Clark's.

"Speaking of crashing! If it isn't my old car crashing accomplice," Mary Jane declared. She glanced at Superman, at Lois' side, and raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow, but didn't ask the questions she probably wanted to.

Suddenly, Lois felt something suspiciously close to shame at the digging into Mary Jane's private life.

"I'm glad you could make it this year, Peter," Clark said warmly, "We've asked the Human Torch to invite you for the past couple of years -"

"Oh, he did. He totally did. But uh... I mostly thought it was some elaborate practical joke he was trying to pull." Peter gave a small smile and gestured around the room. "This year, though, we got invited by Superman, and really, who says no to Superman?"

"I do," Lois retorted. "Often, and with great enthusiasm."

"Well," Mary Jane pointed out, "someone's got to keep the boys in line. If not us, then who?"

"And we appreciate it," Clark chuckled. "Don't we, Peter?"

"Not as much as I appreciate being called 'Peter' by _Superman_ ," Peter answered. "And holy surreal experiences, Batman! That is going to take a while to get used to."

"You should call me Clark. 'Superman' is awfully formal for the holidays."

Peter tiled his head, and his mouth scrunched up in confusion for a minute, then glanced at Lois, then back to Clark. "Clark...as in Clark Kent? _Really?_ "

Mary Jane just laughed. "That explains a lot, even if it's a rather boring explanation."

"Boring?" Lois spluttered. People had called her relationship a lot of things, but never _boring_. Clark gripped her arm tightly, and she would glare at him, if she wasn't so busy directing the full amount of her wrath at Mary Jane.

"Oh, and we were getting along so well!" Peter mumbled. "Honey, don't pick a fight with Superman. I can't take him."

"I wasn't picking a fight, Peter, dear," Mary Jane answered blithely. "I was simply pointing out that, compared to the sordid three-ways I was sure you were having with Clark Kent _and_ Superman, this is rather disappointingly domestic."

Lois didn't have to have her husband's hearing, or sight, to hear the nearby scandalized gasps that erupted from assorted members of the hero crowd.

Somewhere between the gasps and the complete nonchalance of Mary Jane's smirk, Lois realized she was going to have to stop pretending to hate this woman soon. Very soon.

~~~

As it turned out, Mary Jane was determined to help the whole "not hating" cause, because the next time they spoke, Mary Jane interrupted a perfectly slow news day with a phone call.

"How do you feel about Thai food?"

"I think if you aren't calling from somewhere in Metropolis, that's a mean tease."

"I thought Cat Grant monitored my every move. She didn't fill you in that I have a photo shoot here for the next three days?"

"She's on 'vacation.'"

"Vacation, vacation or ... _enhancement_ vacation?"

"That, Ms. Watson-Parker, I cannot comment on. I would be more than willing, however, to share several theories I have about Pad Thai. Preferably over a dish of the same"

"Sounds great. I'll swing by the Daily Planet and pick you up. Say, ten minutes?"

"You driving again? Who the hell even agreed to let you have another rental car?"

"Oh, Lane. Our poor husbands are going to so _disappointed_ that you are trying to break our little truce up." There was a flurry of horns on Mary Jane's end, and Lois shook her head. Weren't New Yorkers supposed to like taxis?

"I will blame a certain someone's wild streak. Namely in driving."

"Oh, honey, I sowed my wild oats a long time ago. Probably while you were being Miss Prim and Proper in Journalism School."

"I sowed _my_ wild oats when I was breaking out of military camps as a teenager."

"You're a military brat? Really? Those tight skirts of yours a big 'fuck you,' to daddy dearest or what? Still in the rebellious stage, Lane?"

"Something like that. Mostly it means I don't always need to shout for Superman as much as people think I do."

"You any good with a gun?" Lois paused long enough to blink and wonder about the change in conversation, before Mary Jane continued, "Because I've been practicing my aim lately, what with the stalkers and other weirdos who wander through my life."

"There's a shooting range about twenty miles from here. I could -"

"Lunch _and_ a show. Excellent! I'll see you in ten." Before Lois could protest and offer the suggestion of the taxi again, Mary Jane hung up.

Calling back would have made her a chicken, and Lois Lane was _not_ a chicken. What else could she do but accept the offer?

~~

At the end of their lunch date, their truce was a little more solid, and they'd started calling each other "Lois" and "MJ." They weren't exactly the best of friends yet, but the promise of a friendship was definitely there.

Clark woke her, in the middle of the night, with news about Mary Jane's plane.

"If you want to talk about it," he offered, and oh, Lois knew he was trying to be kind. "I know the two of you were getting close..."

"Investigate first, cry later, Clark."

Because there were plenty of things to be suspicious about, Lois figured. The plane carrying the wife of a superhero _just happened_ to explode, when she just _happened_ to have been stalked in the last several months?

No. Nothing in their life was that coincidental.

Still, Lois would be the first to admit that she never saw the whole "telepathic mutant holding the pretty model hostage" angle coming.

She was just sorry she couldn't report it. It would have made a hell of a story.

~~~

The next time Lois talked to MJ, it was over two boxes of Chinese food in MJ's Los Angeles apartment.

"I'm not sure rather I should mock you for taking the part in Lobster Man, or congratulate you on not moving to Star City," Lois pondered.

"In Star City lies Oliver Queen, and even a girl with my dating history knows better to go there." MJ's eyes were not entirely as warm as they used to be, over the brim of her wine glass, but Lois didn't imagine she was all sparkles and sharp retorts, any of the times she and Clark had tried to take a break, either.

"I think Dinah would be awfully offended if she heard us dissing her man that way."

"Or, more accurately, dissing her bad taste." MJ shuddered. "Bad men I have dated, but never that bad."

Lois poured them both more wine, figuring that any mental images of Oliver Queen could definitely use some more incentive to go _away._

"Thanks," MJ said. "Not just for the wine, I mean. Thanks for coming out here, as busy as you are. Despite your mocking of my driving skills, you turned out to be a pretty awesome friend, when I needed one."

"It's no big deal, MJ."

"It is a big deal," MJ insisted. "Most of my friends... they'll all Peter's friends, too, you know? Or they're entirely his friends, and I just happen to share them. And the separation is very awkward. You're...kind of mine. And that's very nice."

Lois stared down at her wine glass for a moment. "Look, MJ, there's something I have to tell you. Back when we were still getting to know each other -"

"In the time before the Great Truce?"

"Yes. I kind of ... did some digging."

"Yeah, I know."

Lois blinked. "You knew?"

"One of Peter's many friends just so happens to be a reporter type. It raised a flag...or two, that you were investigating us."

Lois wondered who that was - certainly not Jameson. Maybe Ulrich? He seemed solid enough, and his stories were more sympathetic to heroes than most that came out of New York.

"So why didn't you ever say anything?" Lois asked. "At the very least, why didn't I get a visit from scary visit from Spidey telling me to back off?"

MJ smirked as she polished off her glass of wine. "Like that would have worked."

"Well, no, it wouldn't."

"Peter knows how to pick his battles?"

"If that was true, he wouldn't be a hero," Lois retorted. "None of the bunch knows how to do that."

MJ laughed and poured herself another glass. "Let's just say, your nosing around got the attention of another hero, who gave me a call and told me not to worry about you. Apparently you can keep a secret. Wouldn't tell me why, of course..."

It took Lois a moment to consider who that might be. "I don't think Oracle would have cared enough to call. The only other person nosy enough to keep tabs on us like that is ... Batman. Batman called you?"

"Yeah, you should have seen Peter's face when I told him."

Ah, there was that wistfulness again, Lois noted. The break was _so_ not going to last.

"Of course, you weren't at all impressed by Batman." Somehow, that really didn't surprise Lois in the least.

"Nah. I used to date him, you know. Well, not exactly _Batman_ , but you know..."

Ah, the secret identity deal. "You dated Bruce Wayne?" That had been in the files, of course, but Lois hadn't actually believed it. She didn't actually believe ninety percent of the bullshit Wayne spewed, as she generally figured it was all mostly a front for Batman, anyway.

"He paid for my honeymoon," MJ said solemnly.

"Did you two actually...you know," Lois waved her hand vaguely in the air. "I thought all the model speak was just a cover."

"Of course we did. Catwoman kisses better, though," MJ murmured lazily. "But Bruce isn't too shabby himself."

Lois blamed the warmness in her cheeks at that confession on the wine, and completely ignored any contributions MJ's closeness to her might have caused.

~~~

As it turned out, Lois didn't exactly get the opportunity to gloat when Peter and MJ decided to end their "break" and get back together. That was because it happened at approximately the same time that the hero community decided to collectively lose its mind.

First came news of Sue Dibny's death, and then came the loss of Tim Drake's father. Lois was just coming to terms with the revelation that _Jean Loring, of all people_ , had been responsible for those deaths, when Lois' husband was mind controlled into going crazy, and Wonder Woman was framed into looking like a cold-blooded killer in front of the world by an army of spy robots.

No one had any time to so much as catch their breath, before they lost Flash, Quicksilver and Kid Flash, and most devastatingly, Kon-El.

Later, when Clark tried to fill in the gaps, in an attempt to make some sense out of everyone losing their mind, that was when his voice broke.

So Lois shouldn't have been particularly surprised when Clark came to her, one month after Kon-El's death and dropped the one surprise she'd never thought she'd have to be prepared for, as Superman's wife.

Apparently, Krypton wasn't completely destroyed after all.

"It might be nothing. But I can't tell from Earth."

"So you're going to go investigate it for yourself?"

Clark had the grace to look ashamed, at least, and for one irate minute, Lois wished for the ability to slap him and do any amount of damage. Because no, he didn't get to leave her, not after all that had happened, and try to make her feel _guilty_ about being angry at him for it.

"The world's calmed down a lot," Clark answered, unnecessarily. "Kara's agreed to keep an eye on things for me, while I'm gone..."

"But the world needs _Superman._ "

"Lois, I have to do this. Please understand. If there's even a chance that any of us are left..."

Us. _Us._ She bit down a retort that Earth was his home, not some far distant planet. Because, in the end, that wasn't entirely true. "How long are you going to be gone?"

When in doubt, be strong. Cry later.

Her internal mantra was almost worth it, when Clark beamed down at her and hugged her tightly. "I estimate three months at the most. Unless...something goes wrong."

The very thought made every part of Lois scream in protest, but she offered the most sincere smile she could instead. "You can leave in the morning. Stay the night, Smallville, and give me something to remember you by."

~~

It was six weeks later, in the midst of tracking down a possible Hydra cell in Metropolis, that Lois received her first clue about just how literally Clark's body took "give me something to remember you by."

Later that night, after her body rejected the Brie she normally loved, Lois settled down on the sofa with a box of saltines and complained about the incident.

"The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent actually got pissed at me because I puked on his costume. Like I asked him to 'rescue' me in the first place!"

"The audacity of some people!"

"I know!" Lois agreed, before she realized that maybe MJ was being sarcastic. She scowled at the phone, for good measure. "I just find it very suspicious that the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was there."

"Well, hunting down Hydra cells is generally in the S.H.I.E.L.D. job description..."

"MJ, you act like this is my first Hydra cell! Trust me, usually? There's never a good S.H.I.E.L.D. agent around when you need one."

"Well, when in doubt, blame Maria Hill. From what I hear from the you-know-who gang, she's all about shaking things up and making changes - both necessary and unnecessary."

"The you-know-who gang? MJ, you do realize that you and I are talking on two of the most secure telephone lines in the world? The President _wishes_ he had a line this secure. I'm pretty sure you can go ahead and call them the Avengers."

"I know...it just seems so bizarre, in a way. Us living with the Avengers! It sounds so..."

"It sounds horrible. If Clark had tried to force me to live next door to Wolverine, I would have _found_ a way to hurt him."

"Yeah, that one is obnoxious. A little too certain he can get in my pants, with just the right amount of effort."

Lois paused long enough to wonder if that was better or worse than having him want to stab you. "Is that on the record, MJ? Because I think that would go lovely next to the 'hot model cheats on her husband with Tony Stark' story."

On the other end of the line, MJ groaned. "Did you really need to remind me of that story?"

"No, I just wanted to. Because compared to the seedy domestic threeway you could be having with Spidey and Iron Man, the truth is rather .... _disappointingly domestic_ , don't you think?"

"Touché , Lois." Peter's voice murmured in the background and MJ paused long enough to answer and giggle. Lois fought down the irrational jealousy that came with her husband not being there. "Hey, Lois, I've got to go. Feel better, okay? I've been getting in some training time with Captain America, which means that not only am I a better shot than you, now I can probably literally kick your ass."

"You wish, model girl," Lois told her.

"Come visit us! You can do a cover on the Avengers and we can spar...no, Peter, you can't watch."

"I will," Lois promised, before hanging up.

Two weeks later, when Lois finally broke down and went to the doctor for her "flu," the numbness and shock was interrupted only briefly with the fleeting thought that now she wasn't going to be able to spar with MJ for a good, long time.

~~~

Lois was in the middle of having her first ultrasound when war between the heroes broke out. Perry called three times between the first heart beat and the time it took Lois to pull up her pants.

"As with most wars, I suspect this one will still be waiting on you, when you are done," Hank McCoy tried to tell her, but Lois didn't have time for that, now. Baby or no baby, there was a war going on and she was the Daily Planet's star reporter for a reason.

She made it back to Metropolis by the fourth ring, with a little help from the Flash. Lois didn't know which Flash this was; his eyes weren't the warm blue of Iris' husband, nor was he as relaxed as Linda's husband. But he was kind and he was fast, and he made trips to the X-Men mansion's unique medical equipment possible without complaining when Lois puked on him. More importantly, the fourth Flash made it possible for Lois to finish the story in a timely fashion that almost made Perry happy.

"It's a good story, Lane. Shame this war is going to be over too soon for you to get anymore stories like this."

"You really think so, Chief?" Jimmy asked. "This one seems pretty serious."

"Olsen, do I have to remind you how old I am? I've seen _real_ wars -" Lois didn't interrupt to remind him that she and Jimmy had seen real wars, too, and her newfound consideration for her boss she blamed entirely on her hormones. She hoped that softness would go away as soon as the puking did. "These superheroes are always fighting with each other over something. It won't last."

Lois hoped Perry was right, but she wasn't entirely certain that he was.

~~~

Unfortunately, the coming days proved her right, and the quotes she gathered from Metropolis were all the same.

 _"If Superman were here, he'd put a stop to this fighting."_

 _"We never had this kind of problem before Superman left."_

 _"I used to put Captain America and Superman in the same category, you know? But Superman never would have gone against the government like they say Cap's doing."_

 _"One thing's for sure: the world needs Superman more than ever."_

 _"Of all the times for Superman to have left us..."_

Lois gritted her teeth and bit back several retorts as she interviewed politician after politician, in a desperate bid for a journalistic detachment that she didn't really feel.

When the quotes were gathered, she typed up the story and excused herself to go to the bathroom. Alone in the stall, she allowed herself a quiet moment to herself. With her face in her hands, she allowed the tension of the past months to escape in the only way she was willing.

"We could really, really use you down here, Clark." It was a whisper, and that had always been enough. Lois closed her eyes, and leaned against the coolness of the stall, willing it to be enough again.

For her efforts, all Lois received was the steady humming of the Planet office outside the restroom - right up until the steady hum grew to an explosive roar. She took a deep breath to steady herself, and didn't allow herself to hope that the roar had anything to do with her wish.

Which meant she couldn't be disappointed when she walked out of the restroom and discovered the source of the commotion to be that Spider-Man had revealed his identity to the world.

She could be frustrated, though. "Oh, Peter," she muttered in a whisper only Clark could have heard, "What have you done?"

~~~

Lois didn't particularly like to lie, when the only purpose of that lie was to coddle the truth. But for Mary Jane, she made an exception. "For the record, I'm sorry I yelled at Peter."

"Oh, bullshit, Lois." The frustration was evident in Mary Jane's voice, but Lois wasn't entirely certain it was directed at her. It could be directed at Iron Man, it could have been directed at the world at large, or it could have been directed at Peter. Or maybe it was directed at the ratty hotel they were holed up in, following a jail break that Lois was pretty sure wasn't part of any approved prenatal plan.

Lois thought maybe Peter deserved it, though Iron Man's recent public comments about her "journalistic integrity" and her "well-known fondness for the boyscout type" following her articles discussing the problematic approach and inherent flaws to the SHRA, put Tony Stark pretty high on Lois' list of people who deserved punching.

"At least she didn't puke on me," Peter offered. "Yelling is better than puking."

Lois glared at him and stretched as she stood up. "While this has been a lovely chat, MJ, I have to be getting back to Metropolis."

"How?" MJ asked, and Lois had the brief thought that she was standing entirely too close to that window. "We have no _secure_ way of contacting what's left of the League or the Avengers -"

"The real Avengers," Peter offered quietly.

"It doesn't matter," Lois insisted. "I have to get back to Metropolis and publish this story. If the public knew the truth about Iron Man's tactics during the war, if the _other heroes_ knew the truth -"

"Do you think it will change anything?" MJ asked, and Lois tried not to notice the hopeful look on Peter's face.

"Somebody mighty important must think so. Otherwise, they wouldn't have locked me in jail - without a trial, I might add," Lois pointed out. "For no other reason than I uncovered what Ulrich and that slimy Sally Floyd were trying to keep hidden."

"And you'll be arrested before you even get halfway down the block," MJ pointed out. "Aunt May, talk some sense into her."

"Sometimes, Lois, dear, you have to prioritize the future over the present," May Parker informed her. "And I think your child's had enough excitement for one day. Why don't you relax with a nice glass of milk and something to eat?"

Lois would have argued the point - rather forcefully - and perhaps quoted her own wise old woman, waiting anxiously in Smallville for word of her impending grandson's health.

But that chance was taken from her when the window exploded.

~~~

  
Lois' head was killing her and the worst of it was that she couldn't even blame the headache on the sniper attack.

No, that blame had to go directly to Peter and Mary Jane. "I can't even believe you - _either_ of you would ever consider this 'deal.'"

"It's the only way to save Aunt May," Peter said quietly. He was still holding his wife, and a small part of Lois thought she shouldn't be here, in what should have been a private moment between husband and wife. She should be making her way back to Metropolis, cape killers and corrupt government officials be damned.

But someone in the room had to have their priorities straight, and guilt wasn't allowing it to be MJ or Peter. And while Lois had a lot of feelings about the matter, absolutely none of them had anything at all to do with guilt.

"Then maybe it's time to do the grown-up thing and say goodbye," Lois answered. As soon as it was out of her mouth, she acknowledged that she needed better tact in situations like this. As much as lack of tact made her a great investigative reporter, she really hoped the kid inherited his father's skill in that area.

With a hefty dose of her stubbornness thrown into the mix, of course, because Clark's tact and her stubbornness would be a killer combination. It was why they had made such a good team, for so long.

At least, they had until Clark had ran away to find a world that may or may not even exist anymore.

"I've been trying to do the grown-up thing!" Peter argued. "This is all my fault. I'm trying to fix it. All the doctors can't save her – she wouldn't have been hurt without me -"

His voice broke, and it wasn't hard to find sympathy for a man grieving for his aunt.

"I understand, P eter," MJ said. "It's okay. You can make the deal."

That was it, really, and Lois should have stepped back and let them choose that life. It was their choice, after all.

Maybe she would have, if MJ's voice hadn't been so hollow, so broken, so resigned, and so lacking in anything remotely resembling the carefree girl who'd almost drowned them. Maybe she could have, if Peter didn't look equally miserable. And maybe she would have if Mephisto himself didn't appear only moments later, offering her an equal deal.

"I can bring Superman back and give him back to the world," he offered. "I offer you the same deal as I offered the Parkers."

"You want my marriage?"

"Of course."

Of course. Because a demonic collector of marriages absolutely made sense – to somebody, somewhere. Lois would have laughed at the sentiment, had she not been so mad.

"You can't have it!"

"Look around you, Lois. The world desperately needs a Superman, and you would deny them their hero? Are you that _selfish_ , Lois Lane?" Mephisto taunted.

"Selfish? You want to talk about selfish? This deal would be selfish. The deal you offered Peter and MJ is _selfish,_ " Lois argued. "You want us to give up, to stop fighting, to let you solve all our problems. To take the easy way out. For a Satan wannabe, you don't know very much about me. Lois Lane doesn't need anybody to solve her problems, and she never takes the easy way out."

"I'm merely offering you a choice, in exchange for something I want," Mephisto replied.

And odd feeling came over Lois at that moment, and she did something she usually reserved for the nights she had alone. She placed her hand protectively over her stomach, just where the kid was kicking. It was a reassurance that he was still there, and one she needed, for reasons she couldn't quite put into words.

"Every choice Clark and I made, we made together, as partners. You're right that the world needs him, that I need him, that the baby needs him. It terrifies me to think what this war and the registration act means to the child I'm going to have. But even if all my fears come true, I still won't make a deal with you. I still won't trade all the good to get rid of some of the bad, and I hope I'm strong enough to raise my son to make the same choice."

"You will be," Peter predicted, and he sounded older and more tired than Lois could ever recall him sounding. "Because you'll teach him to run _towards_ responsibility for his actions, not away from it."

"Yeah, I will," Lois agreed. "I'm just sorry he isn't going to have any cute red-headed, brown-eyed girls to keep him in line. I always kind of figured he would."

"M-maybe he will," Peter said quietly. "God, I can't believe what I was about to do, what I was about to give away. MJ, I can't make this deal."

"That's your choice?" Mephisto's declaration was louder than his questions had been. But Lois wasn't scared; she'd been reading about temper tantrums lately. There wasn't a whole lot more to do in jail.

"Our choice, you big, demonic creep, " MJ answered, in a voice that was half sob, half laughter, "Is that we are prioritizing the future over the present."

~~~

May Parker's death was very heart-breaking.

But Lois was getting tired of grieving. She grieved for Clark, she grieved for Captain America, she grieved for J'onn, and she grieved for Bruce Wayne. She grieved for the future this world was likely to have, and the fact that her son had to grow up with a world that ignored Lois' article about Tony Stark's actions, still considered her a fugitive, and put the Norman Osborn in charge of a program to regulate superheroes.

Technically, she was angry about the last part, but she was tired of being angry, too.

So, when the baby finally arrived, Lois was glad for the distraction, even if it did happen in Captain America's basement. She was glad, even if the Flash was running awfully _late_ with her doctors, and the substitute made her wary.

"Are you sure you actually delivered babies before?" Lois demanded. "And this isn't some elaborate scheme to get a good peek?"

"I was in World War II," Bucky reminded her. "Medics weren't always handy."

"Yeah, well, Wolverine was in World War II, too, but nobody is going to suggest that he deliver my kid, are they?"

"Trust me, the way it looks right now, this is the last vagina I want to be looking at."

"What's wrong with my vagina, exactly? It happens to be perfectly normal to look this way when you are _nine months pregnant_."

"I didn't mean - " And to be fair, Bucky really did look remorseful.

"Oh, you meant it alright," Lois hissed.

"Lois, while we do love your temper, maybe we should dial back the urge to kick Captain America in the face," Peter suggested, and Lois would have been annoyed at the suggestion, if Peter hadn't so helpfully removed one of the stray hairs that was hanging in her face.

"I don't know," Mary Jane laughed. "Watching you punch Sally Floyd last week was golden. Watching you do the same to Captain America during labor is definitely my idea of a good show."

"Needs some Thai food," Lois complained, which only made MJ laugh more.

Fortunately for both men, particularly Bucky, who seemed the least amused out of anyone, the Flash finally arrived with her doctors. "Sorry, everyone," the Flash offered. "For the lateness. We were ambushed by the 'Dark Avengers.'"

Lois had always thought that was a stupid name for a group of people, but now, with her contractions so close together, it sounded even worse.

"Yes, fortunately for us, that charming Red Hood showed up to give us a hand," Hank McCoy relayed.

"You may be the only person who has ever accused the Red Hood of being charming," Mid-nite informed him.

"Jason was always a good kid," Flash corrected. "Underneath all the roughness, there's a solid young man."

Later, Peter teased her about the reason for naming the baby. Lois would punch him in the arm, with a lightness that she knew wasn't really effective. MJ was too busy declaring that the baby was the prettiest baby she'd ever seen.

Really, Lois couldn't argue. Jason Lane-Kent was a very handsome baby indeed.

~~~

Due solely to her adventures with Bucky in the basement, Lois was very happy when the other Captain America came back. When he led the Avengers and the Justice League into battle in Oklahoma, which resulted in the death of Sentry and the fall of Norman Osborn, she was even more glad.

That ridiculous law was finally overturned, and for the sake of the child she was responsible for, and the man that was probably never coming back, Lois was relieved.

The press – the part of the press that did not involve Lois Lane, at any rate – was calling it the "Age of Rebirth," which Lois thought was pretty damn silly. It fit, she supposed, with the heroes coming back from "death" right and left. The second Flash and the first Captain America were only the tip of the iceberg.

But Lois watched the rest of the heroes gathered around at the victory party, as she took notes on Captain America's speech while MJ changed Jason's diaper. "Rebirth" didn't fit most of them, because they'd never died. They'd never gone anywhere. They'd kept fighting, even when the world had been at its darkest.

Lois spared the sky one more glance, before gathering her son and sitting down to write her first official article for the Planet since being rehired.

As she made her case about "Why The World Doesn't Need Superman," Jason slept happily and soundly against her chest, completely unconcerned with any ramifications the new Heroic Age might bring.

~~

  
It took Lois longer than she would have wanted, to take Jason to go see his grandmother. But Martha Kent was patient, and showed no sign of agitation for the delay. She held and spoiled her grandson, while Lois retold the many adventures she'd had during the past year and a half.

After Lois finished her adventures, Martha nodded and got up to get dressed for a date, and Lois tried to process that information in a way that made any sense.

"I loved Jonathan very much," Martha told her, as she fastened the pearls around her neck. "But I still have a life to live, and he would have understood that."

"You don't... feel guilty?" Lois asked quietly.

Martha smiled at her and kissed Jason's forehead. "Living in Kansas, Jonathan and I faced a lot of storms together. Before Clark came along, we had to prepare the farm ourselves, fastening down the doors, taking are of the livestock, moving valuables out of the way, taking shelter in the cellar... Life's a lot like that, Lois. It's always easier to prepare for storms when you have a partner. Jonathan knew that, and so did his son."

Driving back to Metropolis, Lois tried not to think about what that meant. She tried to ignore the fact that the three months Clark had promised her a year and a half ago were long since past, and that the only way Clark ever broke a promise like that would be if he was dead.

She did a great job ignoring the obvious, right up until she walked into her apartment and was greeted by a long-legged, red-headed model in tight white shorts and an even tighter green tank top that matched her eyes perfectly.

Watching MJ lean casually against her kitchen counter, Lois couldn't ignore the fact that part of her had already moved on.

~~

The great thing about superheroes, and their continual need to prove their responsibility, was that it resulted in Peter not minding getting up at four a.m. to deal with Jason's feedings, in order to let MJ and Lois catch some more sleep. That remained true, even when Peter was out until 3:30 in the morning, patrolling Metropolis' streets.

While the intent was a good one, MJ and Lois had enjoyed superheroes as lovers for far too long, and every time he woke up to take care of the baby, both of the women woke up, too.

Still, there was something to be said for staying under the covers and nuzzling closer to MJ instead of walking the floor with Jason.

"Remind me to tell Cap thank you for sending Peter to overlook Metropolis," Lois murmured lazily into MJ's ear. "His is the best benign dictatorship we've had yet."

MJ laughed softly and slipped her hand up Lois' nightshirt. Obviously, sleep was over-rated, anyway. "I think it was really the change we all needed, to move on and past everything's that happened."

Lois returned MJ's gesture. "I think so, too. Even if none of us have any idea what we're doing."

"We'll figure it out as we go," MJ promised, between kisses. "More fun without a map, wouldn't you say?"

"I would," Lois agreed, giving up on sleep entirely.

After all, it was nearly five, and Lois had to be up in an hour, anyway. If MJ was in the mood... well, Lois couldn't think of a better start to a brand new day.  



End file.
